The short answer: the patient decides

The question of who can get medical updates for a family member has a simple starting point. An adult patient who is able to make their own decisions chooses who hears about their health. Being a spouse, a child or the person who drives them to every appointment does not, by itself, give you a right to their information.

That can sting when you are doing the work of caregiving, but it is usually easy to work with once you know what each office needs.

This guide is general information, not legal advice. Each practice, hospital and facility has its own forms and policies, and state law can differ between Missouri and Illinois.

How privacy rules treat family members

Health care providers follow a federal privacy law, commonly called HIPAA, along with state law. In general terms:

  • A provider may share information relevant to your role with a family member or friend involved in the patient’s care, when the patient agrees or is present and does not object.
  • Providers are allowed to share in these situations, not required to. Offices set their own procedures and tend to be cautious by phone.
  • A person with legal authority to make health care decisions for the patient is generally treated as standing in the patient’s place.

So two offices can answer the same request differently, and both may be following their rules.

How to be added as a contact

The surest route is for your loved one to tell each office directly and to put it in writing.

  1. Talk with your loved one first. Ask whether they want you to receive updates, and about what: scheduling only, or medical details too.
  2. Have them tell the office. They can say it in person at a visit, or by phone with you on the line.
  3. Ask for the office’s form that names who may receive information. Keep a copy, and update it if the contact person changes.
  4. Repeat for each organization. Permission given to the wound care practice does not carry over to the hospital, the home health agency, the pharmacy or the facility.

If several relatives are involved, choose one main contact and a backup, and give both names to every office. Our guide for patients on including a family member in your wound care describes the same step from your loved one’s side.

When your loved one cannot speak for themselves

Illness, dementia or a hospital stay can leave a person unable to make or communicate decisions. Providers then look to whoever has legal authority to act for the patient. That may be someone named in a health care power of attorney, or a court-appointed guardian. Where no one has been named, state law and the provider’s policies guide who may be consulted.

The treating practice will tell you which documents it needs. If no documents exist, or relatives disagree about who should decide, an attorney can advise you. Gateway and the treating clinicians cannot.

If your loved one can still make decisions, this is a good time to put their wishes in writing. Our page on advance care planning explains how that conversation can be part of a primary care visit. For a relative in a memory care community, see wound care in memory care.

What you can do without permission

Privacy rules limit what an office may tell you. They do not stop you from telling the office what you know. You can always call to report something you have seen, such as a wound that looks worse, a fall or missed medications. Staff may only be able to say they will pass it on, and that is enough.

You can also make the first call to Gateway about a loved one.

Privacy is never a reason to wait in an emergency. Call 911 for heavy bleeding that will not stop, trouble breathing, chest pain or a sudden change in alertness.

What Gateway shares, and with whom

With the patient’s permission, Gateway shares scheduling and coordination updates with the people they name.

Whatever the type of wound, questions about treatment or a change in condition go to the treating clinician. We can pass along your message and help you reach the right office. The treating practice follows its own process for releasing medical information.

Our web form collects a name and phone number only, so do not type medical details into it. See the website privacy notice.

To start a conversation with Gateway, call 314-325-0126 or request a callback. Our page for families and caregivers explains what to have nearby.

Common questions

I am the spouse. Don’t I automatically get updates?

Not automatically. Marriage does not by itself give access to an adult’s medical information while that adult can make their own decisions. In practice, most spouses are included because the patient says so, often just by bringing them into the room.

Why will the nurse talk to me at the bedside but not on the phone?

At the bedside, your loved one is there and can agree or object to you hearing the conversation. On the phone, staff cannot see who is calling or check with the patient. Many offices will not discuss details by phone unless you are a listed contact.

My mother told the office I could get updates, but they still refuse. What now?

Ask what exactly is missing. Often it is a signed form, an expired form or a note that never made it into the chart. Ask whether your mother can confirm by phone or sign at the next visit, and keep a copy.

Does being the emergency contact mean I can receive medical information?

Not necessarily. An emergency contact is the person an office calls if something urgent happens. Many practices treat permission to share medical details as a separate item on their forms. Ask each office whether your name is listed for both.

Related pages

General information to help you talk with your own clinician. It is not medical advice, and the treating clinician makes every clinical decision. For a medical emergency, call 911.

Updated October 2026